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Coming Out Of The Closet…

Published October 4, 2017 in lifestyle - 0 Comments

… the bloggy closet that is!

In the short time I’ve been a resident of the blogosphere I started to find myself (generally speaking, but not always) becoming more drawn to the bloggers I could attach a face to.  For me, it just adds a level of personalization; therefore, easier to make a connection with.  It’s always nice to put a face with a name; or in bloggyland, a face with an alias, or a title, or whatever.

So with that being said, I’ve decided to slightly expose myself.  Whoa whoa whoa… simmer down home slice.  Let’s not get too excited here.  I just meant I’m going to allow you to see the face behind this sassy little Mommy2¢ blog.

I don’t think you all appreciate how big of a deal this is for me.  I’m about 97.8% sure I probably have a couple of stalkers out there somewhere in the world.  That’s the kinda stuff you can come to expect when you live an average everyday life in the mid-west.  Can you say – walking target?!

So anyway, back to me exposing myself (somewhat).  I got to thinking… How do I want to represent myself?  A picture can say so much, ya know.  I mean they don’t say a picture is worth a thousand words for nothing!  And I definitely want my readers (especially my newer ones who don’t know me as well) to get a good impression of who I am; and not get the wrong impression simply based on my photo.

So, do I wanna go for the serious “I mean business” headshot that says “I take myself and my writing seriously, and you should too!”?

Ummm… nooo… not quite.  Doesn’t really reflect my true personality.  Even though there are things in my life I am very serious about; too much seriousness makes my head hurt and gives me gas.

What about one of those whorish, yum-yum-getcha-sum, slutty type bathroom self-photos that all the kids are into nowadays?  That’d be easy.

(Guess I should have flushed the toilet first)

Yeaaah… I’m thinking that’s probably not the best image to put out there about myself.  I am a mom after all.  And as skinny as I was feeling after that big dump, I don’t wanna portray myself as a slut… cuz I’m not a slut.  Well, not anymore anyway.  So, yea… that’s not gonna work for me either.

Okay…  think, think, think.  What picture is going to best represent who I am?

Wow!  This is harder than I expected.  Of course I want the picture to be sassy hot!  Duh, it’s gotta be hot!  Hell would freeze over before I’d EVER put up a photo that was the slightest bit unflattering.  Gawwwd NO!  I’m certainly not looking to scare people off.  And even though I’m not on Facebook, I still know the profile pic rules!

Think, think, think…

Well, let’s see… It’s not uncommon for me to act a little goofy (or 12) when I’m with people I’m comfortable with.  I love to laugh, and make others laugh too — Although, it often results in me cracking myself up wayyy more than anyone else.  I might just be the funniest person I know.

You might also like to know that I’m a pro at making phallus shaped origami with dinner napkins.  Makes for a nice conversation piece when we have dinner guests over.

I’m a social person (when I’m not in a funk), but definitely prefer a small-group setting over large group situations where I don’t know everyone.  In that case, I prefer to just blend.  That is until I get a little liquid courage flowing through my veins, then all of the sudden the bathroom attendant is my BFF.

I’m usually (always) down for a yummy glass of wine or a top shelf dirty martini (no vermouth, extra dirty).  Or maybe even both… alternating, with a margarita thrown in there at some point.  And if that’s the case… you may even get to see this insecure party star cut a rug!

In addition to all that cool (and maybe slightly exaggerated) stuff About Me, I think it’s also important for you to know that I’m not mompetitive; and would rather give myself an acid enema than be around women who are.  I hate being involved in drama, so if it doesn’t directly involve me, my husband, or my kids, I try really hard to steer clear of it.  Although, I have no problem sharing my opinions either if I feel it necessary.  Just ask the douche bag who jacked my parking spot at Target yesterday. {Grrrr…}