When you share your art with the world, you’re sharing a little piece of your innermost self. It takes a lot of confidence to do that.
Some of us don’t need to share our art.
But most of us want more - that connection that comes with sharing.
These conflicting instincts are something I’ve wrestled with a lot. It was a struggle for me when I started my blog, and again when I launched wordhaus, (which is still in progress). I struggle with it every time I share some of my manuscript, too. And I work in marketing, where sharing my creativity is my job. And when your job depends on it, you figure out pretty quickly you’ve gotta get over it.
So did I magically snap out of it and suddenly become super confident? No … but I learned how to fake it. Here’s my foolproof way to stop letting a lack of confidence hold you back and fake it:
Rehearse.
Imagine likely scenarios in which you share or pitch your work to others. Prepare a short elevator pitch—a 30-second description of the project—and memorize it. Practice running through the conversations in your head. I even write them out. When it comes time to really talk about your work, you’ll be cool and collected–after all, you’ve already done it dozens of times.
Test in friendly waters.
My first reader for my fiction is generally my sister. She’s no writer, but she reads enough to know if my work is decent and give some feedback. It’s a funny thing, but every time I get my work back from someone and that person isn’t screaming “THIS IS AWFUL!” (which never, ever happens), I feel that much better about sharing it with someone else. Some (kind) criticism has made my work stronger and even made me more excited about it.
Separate from your work.
When I first started planning to promote wordhaus, my mind came up blank. I just couldn’t get past how intimidated I was to share my work publicly. Get a grip, I thought, you work in PR. If anyone should be able to promote a project, it’s you. Once it occurred to me to treat my project the same as I would a client’s, the pieces quickly came together. For some reason, it’s much easier when it’s not for you. So think: what would you recommend to a client or friend in your situation?
Make a plan.
Even knowing what the right moves were to promote wordhaus, I put off taking action for a few months, because I was still just too nervous. But I’d put too much into the project to let a lack of confidence defeat me. So I wrote out all the tactics I’d considered and pulled them together into a plan, with one small baby step to execute on each day. After that, it was simply a matter of following it. I’d removed the thinking from the equation now, so there was no reflecting on whether anyone would care about my new zine. I just followed the steps.
Repeat.
The more you get out there, the easier it gets. I’ve been amazed at the positivity and support out there for my projects. From encouraging words from coworkers who have read my blog, to writers excited to have a new forum to share short stories, the payback for pushing your work out in public is a fantastic incentive to keep it up.
Just like getting regular exercise or learning a new language, the more you do it, the better you get at it. In fact, over time, you may find that it’s really not so difficult to share your work anymore. You may find that faking confidence has in itself made you more confident.
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What about you?
Does sharing your work come easy or do you have to fake confidence at times? What suggestions would you add to Emily’s list?
Getting my writing out there was a bit scary. I always feared that people will say that it is nonsense or crappy, but I got over it. I think we have to just go on doing what we’re doing. Being pampered isn’t going to work either.
So true about being pampered – that’s not the answer either. Have to keep your head up and keep pushing through it. Appreciate you commenting!
Very interesting post, I truly need’d to read it….Thank for sharing your wisdom with us…. Many Blessings :)
Glad you enjoyed it :)
Emily, thanks for your contribution! I needed this article, myself. I find that most of my insecurities come from comparing my work to someone who is much further along in mastering their craft… and then, it’s hard to see how I measure up based on such an unfair comparison.
I like the “test in friendly waters” suggestion – I often forget to do that, but it’s a smart way to get some initial feedback.
I’m guilty of the same thing Denise–I often get down on my own work by comparing myself to the masters of the craft. Some kind feedback from someone who loves you is one of the best ways I’ve found to regain perspective and confidence.
Thanks so much for letting me guest post!
Love the post Emily for it’s simplicity, clarity and punch. I used to think “fake it ’til you make it” was total bullshit. But I recently went through a dozen or so old scores that I composed (I compose for classical guitar) and I it is clear to see that I was faking it! And although I have not “made it”, the faking has certainly helped my composing. Each time I go to edit a piece I am more confident about my abilities and I make better decisions and more quickly too.
My dear friend “Somebody” wrote (or spoke) recently about “It’s not faking it, it’s Rehearsing!”
~~~
Ahh! Here it is: https://vimeo.com/42372767 – Neil Gaiman! (and Joel Z. pointed it out in the first place)
Cheers!
Thanks Karen! Will have a peek at that video. Hope you are well.
Thank you for this post, Emily! One of my best friends in college used to say, “Fake it ’til you make it.” I used to say it but wasn’t sure how to implement it. When I left my day gig to start my own tutoring business, it was sink or swim. What I realized was that my hard work really had paid off. I still get nervous and over-talky, but luckily I know what I’m talking about and parents love to hear good things about their kids. ;) I love your thoughts about separating yourself from your work…treating it like the advice you would give a friend. Extremely helpful!
Yes, my inspiration for this post came from the first marketing agency I worked at, where “Fake it til you make it” was the mantra for the two people I shared an office with. It’s gotten me through more things than I can count!
Hey Emily, this is a really great post. I enjoy that you share such kind ways of getting past our fear. Looking at our own projects as if they belong to a client is a really fantastic one that I always forget about. Thanks for the great advice!
Thanks Sarah!
Hey Emily,
I could definitely relate to you with when I started my blog. I was a nervous wreck because I have never thought of myself as a writer although all my friends and coworkers have told me I have a way with words.
I think for the most part when I asked my friends for their opinions they were always supportive because they’ve always stood behind me and supported me. I didn’t really feel like I could get a constructive criticism from them.
I just had to fake the confidence until more and more time went by and I started seeing more and more people interested in what I had to share. That will do it for sure.
Thanks for sharing this because confidence doesn’t come easily for a lot of us.
~Adrienne
Yeah, there’s nothing like positive feedback to get your confidence up! It’s one of those annoying catch-22s of life that you can’t get that boost until you’re brave enough to share your work :-)
Hey Emily,
I like the well explained plan for folks who are in the same boat as you. And I know a lot of people who are. Personally, I don’t have any problem sharing my work. My main struggle is with the motivation to create my work in the first place. But once it exists, have at it world!
But I do test my work in friendly waters before the world has at it. My mom also doubles as my editor and proofreader and it’s a HUGE help. Not everyone is so lucky to have someone who wants to do this – for free – and will have almost instant turnaround time. I guess that’s what a smart, retired, and loving mom can do for a guy if he’s fortunate.
I will say this though. Being able to pretend that the work you’re doing for yourself is for someone else, and benefiting from all the things that comes from it, is tough. I’d like to be able to do that some day because I have no problem cranking out good stuff for other people. The tricky part is doing something for my website or the community I’m trying to build.
I have that problem too — I’m a writer by profession, in addition to my fiction and blogging. Sharing my writing at work is never an issue like it is with my personal projects. But then, personal projects are indeed very personal sometimes.
As a songwriter, I’ve definitely experienced these feelings. It’s easy for me to get up in front of a crowd and sing, but to sing my own songs adds a whole new level of vulnerability. I agree- the more often I did it, the easier it became.
This post is great for me! I’m not so good at faking confidence. I sometimes feel like I’m not confident enough in my faking abilities to pull it off ;-)
Testing in friendly waters has helped me a TON. I’ve started keeping new projects semi-secret until I feel good enough about them that I’m ready to let them out into the world. That little bit of shielding at first is crazy helpful.
Learning to separate from my work helps a lot, too. I was talking to someone about a problem I was having, and she said, “This is what you do help other people with, but it can be so hard to apply what you do for others to yourself. What would you tell someone you were working with in this situation?” And a lightbulb went off! I’m still working on it, but the more I practice that mindset (repetition!), the easier it gets.
Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Emily!
Sounds like you’re doing all the right things Erin. Keep it up!
I was a performer growing up, so “fake it til you make it” is practically a point of doctrine to me. No one cares about your anxiousness, and very rarely do they notice your mistakes! In fact, if you maintain your confidence, like the Emperor and his clothes, people just assume that everything is working out exactly as you planned it. Which is really kind of the most cool thing about it. :)