As artists and entrepreneurs, what capital do we possess? Time. That’s all we’ve got. We have to protect our time.
-Steven Pressfield, Saying No
Everyday of my life, there are a million things I want to do, things I want to try, projects I want to start, projects I want to FINISH, and I have children to pay attention to.
So, when I have all these positive ways to spend my day, it throws me off when someone wants to sneak in a negative, destructive activity, like gossip into my day.
As it is, my time is limited, and I don’t create anywhere near as much as I would like.
Eleanor Roosevelt said great minds discuss ideas and small minds discuss people. I wouldn’t say that.
Discussing people doesn’t mean you’re small minded.
It means you have huge fears.
It means you are too afraid to discuss your own ideas,
It means you’re afraid of failing,
It means you’re afraid to learn a new skill,
Or develop one you already have,
So, you discuss people instead
because that’s easier than putting your ideas to work.
It also means you don’t value your time.
You value your fears instead.
Because when you value your time, you realize just how limited it is.
When you’re lying on your death-bed, you might regret time you didn’t spend with loved ones, or you’ll think about that business you never started, or that book you never finished, or whatever other thing you wanted to do.
You won’t lie on your death-bed wondering why your friend Sally doesn’t get along with her husband and if something scandalous is going on between them. You won’t be wondering if all the rumors about Joe Schmo are true and you won’t care who shot the sherif.
Because all that will matter is – what YOU did with your life.
That is your job.
To do stuff with your life.
Not to discuss and speculate what others are doing with theirs.
People are interesting.
I understand why we discuss each other at times.
But, every time we do, we’re giving our time away.
Protect your time.
you are right
we must be more conscious of our time
thank you :)
thanks for your comment :)
Time is so precious. Yes, we need time to get everything done…but I also think the time to yourself is sometimes more important. ;)
Amen to that! Time for myself is what I’ve been lacking lately.
I really appreciate your perspective. It jives with your previous post which got me thinking…
I find gossip around me when I am in a group of folks that have a history. It may be family or friends…I think it is our culture. That being said, I never go out of my way to gossip, and usually feel uncomfy around it.
As for protecting time: yes, amen! We all need a reminder that time is precious. That perspective helps me stay present when I need to focus on my kids, and drives my productivity with my limited writing/blogging time:)
Good point about gossiping when you have history. I know it’s a common thing.. I’ve just seen it do more bad than good, so I avoid it. Fill my life with as much positive as I can.
Staying present is something I’m trying to work on! Not always easy to do.
yes, Holli…it always manages to show up when you’re in a group. i do my best to avoid conversations where it can lead to gossiping, but it doesn’t always work out that way. i am more mindful of it now than i used to be. spending time alone, in the present, is one way i deal with it.
Me too, Donna – I learned to be more mindful of it as I got older. Live and learn!
Yes my time is important that’s one of the reasons I don’t like procrastinators I like doing things in a timely manner when I am not on time things don’t seem to flow right. Love this post
Me too, but I’m slow – I get things done… eventually ;)
and thank you!
There are tons of other ways besides gossip to ‘lose/waste time’ as well.
-SAYING YES to ‘shiny opportunities’ that don’t deeply integrate with your life + vision.
-GIVING of your time/resources to someone who values appreciates very little, when you could be spending those moments sharing with one who values a LOT – they’re out there waiting for you — are you still giving to your friend who takes you for granted?
-PERFORMING low-leverage, under-performing, generally unconscious auto-pilot activities of any kind, when you know on some level there are more powerful things you could do.
All that being said… (and as a nod to your procrastination article)
“Any time you ENJOY wasting, is not wasted at all.”
So if I ENJOY gossip, and its what I do to “procrastinate”, perhaps it’s what I SHOULD be doing?
For example, Perez Hilton or TMZ. Do we suggest they stop gossiping, or are they fulfilling their life’s purpose? :)
Hmm…
Perhaps that is their life purpose. That’s not for me to say.. that’s their business and their life decision.
Maybe for some people it’s enjoyable to gossip, slander, and spread rumors about people, but how do the people being talked about feel? Sorry, but too often, it’s a negative poisonous activity.
Talking about people CAN be positive and healthy. Depends on how you do it, what’s being said, and why you’re discussing it in the first place.
We all talk about people at times.
And yeah, there are many ways to lose time.. but, the 3 “time wasters” you mentioned are still more productive than putting your nose where it doesn’t belong.
Saying yes to opportunities that don’t suit you might not be great, but you’ll learn something valuable in that process and you’d be working, contributing to society.
Giving your time to those that don’t appreciate it sucks, but at least you’re being of service to others.
Under-performing might be a little lazy, but it’s not like you’re on the couch all day watching reality tv.
Lol, I clearly got ya thinking, that may be the longest comment I’ve seen from you :P
I was mainly suggesting this:
At different stages of life, different things count as time-wasters.
I also avoid ‘weighing’ what “wastes more time” — for me it’s — does feel like a waste to me, or does it feel rewarding for me?
Great, thought provoking post, Denise!
you always get me thinking! :)
Just recently my boss praised me for the outstanding job I was doing. In my head, I was wondering how successful I would be if I had time to do everything I wanted to do. But you know what? People don’t get paid to be productive 24/7, people get paid so that they can be productive even through emergencies, child care, paperwork, emails, etc. The amount of time I spend on my actual job description pales in comparison I think.
Definitely don’t think life is about being productive 24/7. It’s about enjoying your life.. whether you’re working, relaxing, spending time with family/friends, working out, reading, and on and on.
I just try to protect my time from anything negative whenever possible.
I waste SO much time each day. I often wonder how productive I’d be if I cut out a lot of time on the computer playing games or randomly surfing sites.
If you enjoy it, maybe it’s not time wasted..
And isn’t a lot of your artwork inspired by social media and websites? Maybe you’re subconsciously doing research to create more artwork :)
Maybe I am… maybe I’m not. Maybe I’m up until 1am chatting with people online. That could be inspiration as well.
I never know when inspiration will strike. Anything can trigger it. A still image, a video, a website, something on TV, something in a book. It’s so random.
I’m just happy I HAVE time to create the things I think of. :)
And you DO get your artwork out there, that’s what matters.
And chatting with friends is always time well spent – life without friendships/relationships is no fun.