Do you ever get the feeling much of what you read is reaffirming what you know? And when you stumble upon something different, it still isn’t noteworthy enough to leave an impact?
When ideas spread, it isn’t long before we keep hearing and reading about them. Sometimes, in new or creative ways. But, still the same idea.
And that’s OK. Because it’s limitless how one idea can evolve.
But, it’s important to also read something that challenges us.
We hear those clichés about thinking outside of the box and getting out of our comfort zones, but are we doing that with what we read?
Are we open to reading what makes us uncomfortable?
Or are we afraid to learn something that challenges what we know?
I’m going to share 3 books that challenged what I know.
That had different ideas than what I was used to. And it changed me for the better. Because it inspired me to not hold back a genuine expression, even if it’s not a popular one.
And as a creative, that’s what I want to do.
Then, in the comments, share something you’ve read that made you think differently…
““The question is why one should be so inwardly preoccupied at all. Why not reach out to others in love and solidarity or peer into the natural world for some glimmer of understanding? Why retreat into anxious introspection when, as Emerson might have said, there is a vast world outside to explore? Why spend so much time working on oneself when there is so much real work to be done?”
This book is about the down side to positive thinking.
Barbara begins by telling us about her experience of being diagnosed with Breast Cancer. How she found herself facing the harsh truth of her mortality while surrounded by cutesy pink merchandise and tired clichés about looking on the bright side.
As someone who recently lost her father to cancer, I can tell you, there is no sugar-coating dying, and to do so in the face of said person who is dying is not only condescending, but delusional and lacks compassion.
Barbara shed light on the idea that no matter how many positive affirmations we repeat to ourselves and to others, it’s not, necessarily, making us any happier or successful and she backs it up with research.
How this book changed me: Besides making me feel more compassion for my own father while he was ill, it made me realize there is such a thing as being too positive.
I’ll turn up the dial on my positivity when I DO positive things with my life, and when I DO positive things that impact those around me in a REAL substantial way.
“Why do people think Artists are so special?
It’s just another job.”
OK, this book was not challenging to read. It’s a memoir of sorts. 241 pages of Warhol’s random musings and personal philosophies about Art, business, life, love, and underwear power.
On my Goodreads profile, I called this book: ”The most brilliant piece of nonsense I’ve ever read.” When I read it, I didn’t feel like there was a book in my hand, but rather a friend sitting beside me.
It’s casual and candid.
He doesn’t talk about Art in a grandiose or motivational way.
There is no talk of muses. There is no inspirational manifesto about self-expression that leaves you temporarily high until the reality of hard work sets in.
Nope. Andy was a working Artist who had no problem allowing money to motivate him to make Art. That’s a different kind of message compared to what I was used to reading in regards to creating Art.
How this book changed me: It made me want to be more intentional about Art as a business – and stop isolating myself in self-expression.
And it made me approach my work with more humility – which is what’s needed when you have to get dirty and do real work.
Self-help is an enterprise wherein people holding the thinnest of credentials diagnose in basically normal people symptoms of inflated or invented maladies, so that they may then implement remedies that have never been shown to work. An entire generation of baby boomers searching desperately for answers to the riddle of midlife has entrusted itself to a select set of dubious healers who are profiting handsomely, if not always sincerely, from that desperation.
Wow, strong words…
Salerno delivers a straight-forward critique on the self-help and actualization movement (SHAM). Some might think he’s being harsh, but I think part of his intention is not only to shed new light on how this industry works…
I view it as a way to show compassion towards those who have lost precious time and money seeking answers in all the wrong places.
Why do such people need compassion?
Because as Steve points out, if “SHAM” doesn’t work for you, then it’s your fault – it’s always your fault. When their methods don’t work, you just need more of it (conveniently), or you’re doing it wrong. You’re being a “victim”.
I applaud Steve Salerno for his willingness to make people uncomfortable.
You don’t have to agree with everything he says, but I believe there’s value in thinking outside of your shamtastic box once in a while.
How this book changed me: It made me feel OK about questioning things that don’t seem quite right and trust my gut. There is value in a critical examination of a genre or industry or a movie, for that matter. There’s a lot we can learn when we question things.
Wrecked by Jeff Goins and Mortality by Christopher Hitchens are two more I could have rambled on about, but we’re clocking in at close to 1000 words here, so I’ll open up the conversation to you…
Tell me, do you typically read what reaffirms what you know or do you look to challenge yourself more?
Hey Denise!
Interesting books!
I’ve never ever read such books and haven’t even heard of such. Thanks for sharing.
People always hate Hitler and I recently bought his “MEIN KAMPF”; that is really an amazing book. His writings about his childhood memories was so awesome and I couldn’t stop reading the second volume of the book.
Will soon try to get these books too.
Thanks for sharing.
Wow, I bet that’s an interesting read. Thanks for sharing that!
I love doing this. It’s so much fun to say, “Eh, what a stupid idea! Let me read the whole book.” haha. It can be really powerful to expand your knowledge and awareness by going in totally new directions.
P.S. I think you convinced me to read The Philosophy of Andy Warhol. It sounds amazing.
Lol, I rarely say a “stupid” idea, but I’ll say “seriously?” and then I just keep reading…
or I tell myself… “this person might just prove me wrong about something, that’s gonna piss me off, but fine, I’ll keep reading…”
or… reading an alternative perspective makes me reaffirm MY viewpoint even stronger – that’s a valuable exercise as as well.
Appreciate your comment, Andrew! Hope you like The Philosophy of Andy Warhol :)
I love the idea of this post. In my January “unsubscribe” frenzy, I ditched a lot of “Must read” Blogs that weren’t offering anything that hasn’t been said a million times. So, I’d add that books aren’t the only place to apply your thoughts… and they’re awesome thoughts.
I just started reading Shaman, Healer, Sage by Villoldo, which starts out by saying “Don’t try this stuff. It’s dangerous! Seek a master of the work, first.” which ultimately alienates people looking for a 1-2-3 answer and shooting for those really interested in learning. So, he’s got my attention. The only things I read are to learn… worldly things.
I also like your comment above “Their routine couldn’t possibly be like mine”. Everyone’s situation is unique. I get much more out of self-helpy stuff now that I remember to look at it through my world.
-Stu
Yeah, blogs, books, articles of any sort really. I went through an “unsubscribe” frenzy myself. There just comes a point, where you realize, ok, I’m no longer the target audience for this blog. I’ve grown from it. At least, that’s what happened to me. I’m sure it serves others who are at different places in their lives.
Thanks for your comment! :)
It’s hardest for me to Unsub from blogs that *used to be* about a lot of chewy content, but seem to have morphed into *on-going product plugs*!
Sometimes, I’m growing in a different direction, sometimes the Writer is – painful, anyway.
Yeah, I know what you mean… breaking up with blogs is hard to do. lol. But, if you’re gonna grow in the direction you want to, sometimes it’s for the best :)
Stu ~
Thank you! Must.Find.Book!
I usually read the dangerous book first, *then* bounce concepts around with my experts-in-my-pocket (youze guyz among them! ;) )
Hi Denise,
What an interesting post!
The book that’s most recently hit me between the eyes is A Clockwork Orange – I didn’t actually read it, I listened to a brilliant reading of it on audio-book. The reason it shocked me so much is that I expected to hate it – I only took it out of the library reluctantly because I couldn’t find anything else I fancied. I use audio-books to make my daily commute to work more bearable and usually get them from our local library, which doesn’t have a great selection. I decided to give it a go because it was read by one of my favourite actors, Tom Hollander, and I thought he might make it bearable.
I’ve never been able to face watching the film, because I had the impression it was all about gratuitous violence. I just thought it wasn’t my scene, and it’s never crossed my mind to read the book. I could not have been more wrong.
It’s one of the most entertaining books I’ve ever read or listened to and when it came to an end I was virtually in mourning for a week, missing wicked young Alex’s witty company. I actually found myself thinking and speaking in ‘nadsat’, the weird and wonderful teenage patois Burgess invented for the novel – once my husband had listened to it, we were able to have a “malenky” chat in fluent nadsat. As Alex would say, the book’s just “horrorshow” (AKA fantastic!)
The novel obviously makes you think about the nature of violence and what society should do about it – and the fact that you’re so attracted to the protagonist, despite his diabolical behaviour, is very troubling. But the main lesson I took from this was the old, simple one – never to judge a book by its cover. My own prejudice and preconceived ideas stopped me going anywhere near this book for years – how I’ve been missing out!
And by the way, American readers and people who’ve only seen the film should be aware that American editions, and the film, omit the final chapter – which makes for an entirely different ending. So if you haven’t read it and fancy giving it a try, I’d recommend finding an edition with all 21 chapters!
Sue
Wow, with a review like that, I have to read (or listen) to it now! I’ve heard of it, but it’s one of those books you hear is popular/good but you never get around to it. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts on it!
:)
With fiction, I probably slip into what’s comfortable more often that not, but non-fiction bores me too much if I simply read what I already believe.
Probably Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers was the most challenging book I’ve read recently. We want to believe that we’re completely in control of our own destinies and that nothing can stand in our way, but Gladwell’s book points out that we are simply at a disadvantage in some fields. Simply having the wrong birthday can work against kids going out for school sports (older kids have better muscle development and height, etc.).
It’s uncomfortable to read that sort of stuff, but it’s great to get the ol’ brain firing on all cylinders.
Cool, I’ll have to check that out! Thanks for the recommendation :)
So many great books, so little time. First, Denise, I have to say Bravo for the reviews of each book. I like how you challenge your thinking. Now that I’ve been encouraged to think about it, I would say that I read for both – to reaffirm and to challenge. CJ and I created a book club with our friend Pat who loves to read classics. When we read Wise Blood we had a very stimulating conversation and all of us were able to show what you were pointing out about families – that each of us is unique in how we interpret and interact with the book based on our experiences and personalities. I thrive on these type of interactions.
I never read blogs before September of 2012, and I find that most of the self-help blogs make me more depressed. Apologize to everyone, love everyone, because, if not, you will be miserable for all your days. Ick.
Wow, I’m glad you said that because I find that too – I feel more depressed with most personal development type blogs. There’s a lot of blame going on with that type of writing.. always pointing out how what we’re doing isn’t enough or we’re not reaching our “full potential” – as if such a thing exists. I would go crazy if I over-analyzed ways I could do more or be better. At some point, ya gotta say, who I am is good enough, thanks. And I’m not sure who ever thought calling people “victims” was an empowering thing to do, but I hate that concept, and I see it preached all over the self-help world. Ugh. I could on..
Thanks for your comment! :D
I could go on too. ;) Oh yes, I could!
We can offer what only we can offer. Some will like it. Some will not. Luckily, we get to decide what to read, create, etc. Again, thanks for the post, Denise. My brain says, Thank you!
In some writing circles, 1,000 words isn’t a cue to stop writing ya know. I would have been happy to keep reading. :)
I feel like the first thing you wrote – completely independent of your good write ups of the three books here – was important. Others will talk about the books themselves, but I’m going to keep this more abstract.
You asked, “Do you ever get the feeling much of what you read is reaffirming what you know? And when you stumble upon something different, it still isn’t noteworthy enough to leave an impact?” My answer is yes…and no. For example, when it comes to politics, I’m in a self-reinforcing bubble, except when I’m reading op-eds by people like David Brooks, George Will, and Michael Gerson. The other political stuff I read doesn’t challenge me much and has a high bar for making an imprint.
But when it comes to money, relationships, religion, and a whole host of other topics, I’m constantly seeking out things that will shatter my existing paradigms. I love having my mind blown and then picking up the pieces to put it back together in a fresh way. And based on my eclectic mix of reading topics and sources, that happens often. “Passages” by Gail Sheehy exploded my grey matter, as did Keith Ferrazzi’s stuff (not to mention “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch and “The Essays of Warren Buffett”). I’m still trying to make sense of my world as a result of reading those and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Ha, yeah.. 1000 words shouldn’t stop me. Lately, it seems like I have too much to say. Since Jan 1st I’ve been writing daily & publishing almost daily between here & my personal blog and I guess it’s true… the more you write, the more you have to write about.
I like how you describe your mind blown & then picking up the pieces! That’s just what I mean. I wouldn’t necessarily want to do that daily, but occasionally, yes.. absolutely. I need it.
Thanks for your comment!
Hi Denise
I agree with your take on what people think you should be on the positive, instead of facing reality. I do believe you always need to work on your self, but no one else knows what works for you. We each come with our own baggage in life and there is no one else that can tell you to have a different attitude or react this way or that. Actually it gets me a bit angry and frustrated when someone who has not lived the circumstances has “got the solution”. They really don’t, yes they have a concept and we can accept what they have to say and improvise what is best for us.
I have been taking psychology courses and it has been an eye-opener as how we all view the world, even within the same family. It was like, I really get it now. We experience life totally different than anyone else, so there is no “one size” fits all kind of therapy or program. I can tell someone what they should do until I am blue in the face, but unless they are buying into the concept, it won’t work for them. Hence all the programs out there that don’t work.
Another thing to think about post.
Mary
There really is no one size fits all. I get frustrated when I search for advice on something, try it out, and it doesn’t work, and later… I realize, well, the person who wrote that doesn’t have a family or children, so they don’t have my challenges. Their routine couldn’t possibly be like mine. So, I waste time trying things that weren’t suited for me to begin with. But, I’ve learned! Now when I read advice, I can tell right away… OK, this won’t work for me.. or yeah, this might work. Lots of trial and error.
Anyways, thanks for your thoughts! You should write a post about what you’re learning in your classes! :)
Well actually I have produced a couple of posts in January that touch on what I have been learning. One on “complicated” and the other on “conformity”.
I have so many more I will be taking and they will peppered with what I am learning. Thanks for asking.
I do recall the “conformity” post. I enjoyed that. Looking forward to more :)
I don’t think I’ve ever consciously thought about choosing books that challenge my ideas, but I love the concept, and your descriptions make me want to read all 3 of these books, Denise.
I will definitely be thinking about my non-fiction choices in a new way.
Well, like Shanna mentioned below, reading to relax is good too, but, sometimes, I get the urge to read something that gives me a bit of a jolt and gets me off the autopilot because I get bored easily which dulls my creativity.
Thanks for your thoughts!
I’m primarily a fiction reader, but I do think the principle applies there too. If I read too much literary fiction at once, for instance, it starts to run together. I think even reading widely to explore your own undiscovered tastes can be a valuable thing.
I would say The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan was one of the more me-challenging books I’ve read in the past few years. I appreciated how the author explored several approaches to our food supply without really giving a solution at the end. It made me realize very clearly that the big problems we’re facing cannot be wrapped up in pretty packages by the end of a 400-page book.
Those types of books – where there’s many possibilities, but no real solution – are interesting because I think there’s value in simply exploring possibilities, and let other people/readers explore it with you and maybe come up with their own ideas or solutions to the problem. I felt that way about “Stop Stealing Dreams”. That manifesto was good but no real solution. Just a rant of possibilities and pointing out issues that need addressing with the education system.
Appreciate your comment!
I can’t recall the last book that really challenged me (I read to relax) but I do like to read internet forums. It’s interesting, when you start to look at perspectives you hadn’t considered. For instance, I actually paid attention to the Men’s Rights Movement’s complaints. Many of them are quite valid. This year the government is planning to cap men’s admissions in to STEM fields in order to stimulate female enrollment– women are already 60% of college graduates. That hardly seems fair. And it isn’t like they have a quota for men in non-STEM fields, where women so heavily outnumber them.
Even when they don’t really have a point, seeing it from their perspective is refreshing. One guy said “Stuff is always said in reference to women’s positions. No one says men’s wages are 125% of women’s. They always talk about how women need help.” This guy felt invisible. It was evident from his comment that he couldn’t make his viewpoints heard– the knee jerk reaction to that was “Quit being such a sexist”
Interesting. Yeah, there’s always 2 sides (or more) to every story. A forum or discussion anywhere on the web is a good way to challenge yourself. Probably better since it’s interactive. If you can get a good discussion going on a blog for example, a lot can be learned.
Thanks for your comment!
Oh, Yeah ~ AT LEAST 2 sides! More likely 4 or 5 or more.
And so many “problems” haven’t been “solved” simply because they’re being looked at from only one angle.
Brilliant TED talk on that^^^ issue: http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.html
That TED talk was wonderful, thanks for sharing it! :)
The Hitchens is spectacular. Tammy and I just read it about a month ago. I tend not to like books that can’t make me cringe. Music is the same way for me. The has to be lots of dissonance and tension to get and keep my attention. A fantastic post, Denise! Thank you.
Thanks! Yes, Mortality holds nothing back, I read it during a very fitting time in my life and it, honestly, had me in tears.
Thanks for your comment!
Me too and I cannot remember the last time I sniffled before that book. What a mind!
Denise, I love this thought. Being exposed to books I wouldn’t pick up on my own is one of my favorite things about my book club … but even then it’s rare that a book challenges my beliefs head-on. I am going to pick up that Andy Warhol book!
Thanks, Emily. Warhol’s book is a fav. of mine, hope you enjoy it :)